I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
