I wanna passion pit in your ass
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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