everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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