Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
