Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
They took my balls.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
