Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
