Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
