I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
