She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
