K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
