dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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