Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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