Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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