Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize