Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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