So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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