It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
