Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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