if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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