So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize