it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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