Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
