so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
