that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
