Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
