I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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