If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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