tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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