Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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