Just cropdusted the office
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i will never coherently bang her
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize