hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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