Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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