I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
