It's Friday. Sex?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
