She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
