Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.

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  (248): It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet. http://tfl.nu/g9yd
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.

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  (214): I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/zhmd
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I need new friends

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  (508): Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag (508): I need new friends http://tfl.nu/z8hc
  Replies (83) Good night (914) Bad night (7642)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.

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  (319): Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk. http://tfl.nu/a04b
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.

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  (678): i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste. http://tfl.nu/3anp
  Replies (21) Good night (4732) Bad night (1658)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.

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  (251): Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again. http://tfl.nu/n3jw
  Replies (33) Good night (3311) Bad night (1000) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'

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  (409): He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this' http://tfl.nu/libu
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for

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  (602): I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for http://tfl.nu/u905
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.

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  (713): I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me. http://tfl.nu/0ubs
  Replies (10) Good night (3767) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes

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  (717): They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes http://tfl.nu/nt6q
  Replies (4) Good night (1481) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse

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  (631): I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse http://tfl.nu/4qxw
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?

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  (+44): you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck? http://tfl.nu/szfq
  Replies (8) Good night (1645) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands

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  (619): I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands http://tfl.nu/vlc3
  Replies (4) Good night (1342) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.

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  (787): It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life. http://tfl.nu/p96v
  Replies (1) Good night (448) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.

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  (425): I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings. http://tfl.nu/8k6q
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (118) Order T-Shirt

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