All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.