So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
