Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
