My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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