literally had 100 drinks last night.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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