Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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