Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
