did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
