I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
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Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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