I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
