I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
