Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize
