It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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