I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize