just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
