just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
