How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Randomize
