we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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