3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
