his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
