omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
