In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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