I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
