i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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