i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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