Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
