Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
