Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.