Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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