You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
